Doing and Being
There was no other choice for me…leaving the familiar was like God pushing me out of the nest. New turf is rewarding and exhilarating – but also a lot like a junkie with intense withdrawals. There are days I am screaming on the inside… demanding some form of definition as to who I am and what I’m supposed to be DOING in life. “Doing” is like a drug that masks the pain of waking up to being myself. The skin crawls and the flesh cries out like the drug addict who would sell their very soul for another fix. I know…I’m melodramatic, but...
Read MoreIrresistable Choice
I release the notion that I have to fix myself or produce change. I believed I had to be willing to make a change…but now I believe that Change is willing to make me. Change appears as incontestable desire. I’m not consciously choosing each change; each change is more consciously choosing me. When allowed to occur in its time, both choice and change are irresistible; each surfacing as the obvious next step. Heart is transcending mind, revealing God as the God of pure gift. In the meantime, I am content with who and how I am TODAY. Impatience gets me to waste energy...
Read MoreSeasonally Undefined
I’m on the road with the man I love… still exercising the freedom to be seasonally undefined. I’m born to be who Christ has chosen to be in me; and being me is the highest form of gratitude I can give to Him. But I’ve had difficulty knowing just who this “me” is. I’ve melded into others like a chameleon. Coming into my own is liberating albeit confusing. I think that’s why He keeps giving me permission to be “no one.” We’re starting with a blank canvas so I can identify my own color palette, and then use it to...
Read MoreHis Choice
As I leave self-scrutiny behind, the real “me” is free to emerge. My view into the heart of God is His choice for me; it’s the revelation of who He’s chosen to be in me. From this vantage point I see the scope of all He intends to be through me. I’m confident enough now to let me be – no matter how simplistic the view. It’s easy to adopt the expression of God in another, but I will ache until I am who He’s chosen to be in me. It is this that gives my heart its proper rhythm. Life is asking me to live while pointing out that the only...
Read MoreWhat Freedom Means
There are a hundred ways to define what freedom means to me. Today, it is a rite of passage that ushers me beyond the need to prove myself to anyone. Those who know me love me, and those who don’t cannot demoralize the respect I have for myself. My reputation, talent, faithfulness, commitment, generosity, heart, passion, vision, stamina, value, and worth is recognized by those to whom I am visible. I am finally on my side…no matter what. I see me, and that changes everything. I am no longer on trial nor do I need protection from slanted information that might be used to size me...
Read MoreBarbed Twins
How I see someone (including my own self-view) determines response. If I consider a person inferior or unreceptive, then that person is closed to me and to my input. They may be starving for the truth I could impart, but people just cannot receive from someone who doesn’t believe in who they are. Judgment and comparison are barbed twins. If I use comparison to pit one against another, directly or indirectly, that person will feel judged either consciously or unconsciously. Removing judgment’s disguise is a step toward the love that accepts others and allows them the grace (and space)...
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