Divine frustration makes me willing to take drastic measures. When I get desperate I usually say things like, “I can’t live like this anymore! Do whatever it takes to get me to see what I need to see so I can break free from this cycle!” At the time I mean every word of it but what I’m not always aware of is the fact that God will do whatever it takes to get me to see what I need to see!
I don’t always know what I’m asking for and I may not always recognize my help when it comes. I picture help according to what I imagine it to look like. I’m sure it will be nice, palatable help, easy to receive. It will come gift-wrapped with my name on it and when I open it up all my problems will be solved. But help comes in the form of truth and that truth will show me the way things really are— which means an illusion is about to be shattered. That doesn’t always feel like the help I was asking for.
When circumstances get worse instead of better it feels confusing. I begin to resist the chaos that arrived in this nice little package and desperately try to send it back. But I can’t. I ordered it when I asked Him to do whatever it takes. I find myself asking, “Why is this happening to me?” only to be reminded of my prayer. When I ask God to do whatever it takes I must trust that the answer He supplies is the line of least resistance. He seeks the highest possible solution and delivers it with love, mercy, and compassion. I mustn’t be perplexed or become fearful when my world turns upside down. God is shaking things up to make room for the truth that is in answer to my prayer.
I know the truth can be painful. It takes courage to face the truth and even more to allow it to do a thorough work. I’ve been guilty of seeing truth then running the other way as though it were an acquaintance I was trying to avoid. There have been times I didn’t want to hear what it had to say because it asked me to look at something in myself that I didn’t want to see. Truth put a spotlight on my error and I felt exposed. Sometimes an erroneous view can feel accurate. If I’m not careful I will prefer the feeling of being right over the truth.
Each time I face truth lies are exposed. Not only the topical lie that deals with the subject at hand but also the less obvious, more detrimental lie that intends to cast suspicion on God’s faithfulness. Fear and lies go hand in hand. They join forces to convince me that God intends to harm me with the truth—as though God asks me to let go of something just to deprive me of its pleasure.
I remember when God began asking me to budget my finances. I was sure He wanted me to do it because He didn’t want me to spend money on “fun stuff” anymore. I thought He was forcing me into a straight jacket that would allow no room for pleasure, or at least very little of it. Once I obeyed I discovered the good and generous nature of God. He had a higher reason for asking me to budget. I had no idea this process could cause me to feel more prosperous, which in turn allowed me to enjoy spending more than ever before.
Organizing and saving money in the columns of my budget gave me a reason to seek His financial truths. I discovered a new avenue of relationship with Him as He began to speak to me in “numbers.” He initiated new columns for saving like vacation, clothing, and fun money…which meant when the time came I actually had vacation money, clothing money, and fun money! Saving today meant spending tomorrow and that became incentive. Condemnation I didn’t know existed was lifted off of my expenditures. I no longer felt guilty when I spent. This was His kind intention all along. Suspicion caused me to suspect His motives so I tried to ignore the truth knocking on my door. Once I opened the door I saw the truth of my great need for His financial wisdom. Lies were exposed—lies about the correct use of money and lies about the heart of God.
“If you return [give up this mistaken tone of distrust and despair], then I will give you again a settled place of quiet and safety, and you shall be My minister; if you separate the precious from the vile [cleansing your own heart from unworthy suspicions concerning My faithfulness], you shall be as My mouthpiece…” Jeremiah 15:19 AMP
I use this example to say that on the other side of resistance is the flow. Truth demands a response that will cause faith to grow. Acting on the truth breaks down resistance and I begin to welcome the truth. I look forward to its knock on my door and run to greet it face to face. I trust God’s requests with much greater ease and even accept the temporary unraveling that may occur. I begin to see that truth bears God’s wisdom and has my best interest at heart.
To want freedom is to let go of rigid mindsets. Truth knocks and will use anything to get me to open up. It will alter forces both internal and external. It will bring me to my knees to get me to see error. It will move heaven and earth to gain an audience with me and it works night and day to prepare my heart to make room for it. Truth wants my freedom even when I do not…and that makes truth my friend.
Truth is patient yet tenacious in its pursuit. If I refuse it today it will re-visit me tomorrow. It is constantly inviting me to know it for it is determined to set me free. It seeks new ways to knock. If I close the door it taps on a window. In fact, you could say truth’s relentless nature is at the root of my misery. It never goes away. To face it causes pain, to ignore it causes more pain.
Will I face the truth or turn away? Facing it is difficult but not facing it is cruel. The pain of denying the truth burrows itself inside my heart, oppressing me always. Truth does not go away. I experience its pain one way or the other. I can face it head on and let it to do a quick work, or avoid it and live with its nagging presence. If I will do whatever it takes to face the truth, truth will do whatever it takes to make the way as easy as possible. Accepting the truth equips me for the necessary follow through. I’ve spent too much time avoiding pain. Growing up means facing the truth so I can move forward in life.